'Livestrong' by Mike "Turd Ferguson" McNeil

I'm ashamed to admit that I've learned more about my cousin after his passing than I did when he was still alive. I knew Mike as the kid with flaming red hair, a shit-eating grin on his face, and always the first of the younger McNeil clan to give me a big hug at all of the family functions. I always knew that he had health issues, but we're Irish and we just don't talk about those things. A smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye, a big laugh, and, later, a beer in his hand is how I remember Mikey.

It was through his facebook group that I got updates on his frequent hospital stays. It was through his status updates over the course of our "online friendship" that I found out that he had a passion for music, he had a bevvy of beauties for friends, and he loved anything Boston sports related. It was when there was a line out the door and around the block for the entirety of his 5-hour wake that I realized how many lives he had touched. It was in Mike and Mary Jo's dining room (with the clinking of irish car bombs in the background) that I watched the YouTube video he proudly made of himself with black eyes from when his face battled a guy with a cast. It was at the funeral home before Mass that I found out that he had loved a girl very much, but wouldn't get too close because he knew his time was short and he didn't want to put her through that. It was when 50 of his fraterntiy brothers came to lunch with us after the cemetary and held a ceremony that I found out he was the kid who walked around the party head-butting people for no reason and got away with it; that he was the guy who drove an hour to pick up a stranded friend in the dead of winter dressed like he was going on an artic expedition because his window was stuck down; and that he was always the life of a party.

When we arrived on Thursday we were given Livestrong bands to wear. I've always seen the yellow bands and have a vague idea about them. But then I read what livestrong was to Mike, and this is how he lived:


Livestrong

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 1:14am

I am writing this blog to let everyone know what livestrong means to me. Livestrong to me means living everyday to the fullest, living the day that I have gotten back because i fought something that threatened my life. It also means living the life that a person who lost the fight is missing and to make sure that little shit doesn't piss you off for no reason. To love every moment you have on earth and don't take it for granted. Because when the weather is shitty outside or you waiting in a long line to buy groceries. Be happy that you can feel the cold rainy weather, or stand in line. I say this because I livestrong for myself I recently fought cancer it was hard ordeal but I look at as not a very big deal I went through what 1.3 americans every year find out what they have. I look at it they way I look at alot of things it could of been worse. Recently my mom's best friend passed away on saturday from cancer. Even though she wasn't a blood relative, she was definatly an aunt my brother and I, and a sister to my mom and dad. I look at her life and say she definiatly livedstrong. She lived a fulfilling life mother to 3 awesome children, friend to so many people. There wasn't one person in her life that didn't like her she made everyones face light up to when you saw her. She was very supportive when i was sick. She even worked all through being sick. She will be missed and makes me want to work harder in life. I really just want everyone to remember when you have a really shitty day or find yourself being mad for something very small issue remember be happy you got to see or talk to your loved ones and if you didn't call them up and say hi.

thanks for reading my rambling i hope it makes sence. I want to leave you all off with a portion of the song Alive by Pear Jam

"Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
Youre still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers..."

This song was written by Eddie Vedder says in story tellers where he says "I'm still alive" as a bad thing in a way to deal with his fathers death, and believed that being alive was a curse. Later in his life when he started playing to larger and larger audiences and as he heard the audiences celebrating the words I'm still alive it changed the meaning of the words from being a Bad thing to being a good thing, and when the fans changed meaning of the words, it lifted his curse.

I just want everyone to know this cause when i first heard this song i was very young, and thought it to be a song that was originally a uplifting song, but when i watched that as an adult i realized it was originally wrote for and it makes me realize how much your friends and family can be their for you and if you are feeling down just remember "I'm Still Alive" and thats all that matters

thanks again.

-Mike-

Michael Joseph McNeil

November 22, 1981 - March 9, 2009